Happy Spring!!!

Hey friends! Happy Spring 2015!!! I just got home a little while ago from my 6 month thyroid check-up. Things are looking good. I got an ultrasound and from the looks of it, things look ok, but she will go in later to give things a better look and get back to me on it. She says my thyroid has shrunk and that eventually it will shrivel and be hard to see. Not sure how I feel about that, but the pills are working and hopefully this dose will be the right one...until I start losing weight and send my body into a rage all again. LOL! Oh well, I'll worry about that bridge when I get to it.

So today I am cleaning like a monster because I have guests coming over tomorrow. But I'm also kind of in a funk because I want to try making some videos of some new rubber bands I got recently for the Rainbow Loom, yes I fell into that lovely trap. I love working on that thing, well things now, I got a second one to make cuff bracelets with. So I found some different bands I wanted to try for fairly cheap, and I got a really cheap loom that looked interesting that I wanted to try out, if it's crap then it was worth buying for the bands and hooks, so no big loss. Yep, it was that cheap. LOL!

What else? Oh, I have yet to open Dreary. :-( Just haven't found a good time for it. I might try in a bit while the light is good because I want to play with my new little girl. Still waiting to get a shipping notice about my other girl. The seller seems to be a good seller, so I am sure it's just taking them some time to mail her off. I can't wait to see her too.

But that's about it for now. Just wanted to pop on to say, HAPPY SPRING FRIENDS!!!, and let you know what little bit is going on here with me. I'll post again soon, must get to cleaning. Take care friends, by for now.

Skin Biopsy, No Bueno

Ok, so let me just tell you, for you sun bunnies out there, STOP! Just STOP! If you get a spot on you that needs to be check, you are so going to regret it. I’m not even a sun bunny and I regret…well…having skin on my feet. Ugh! OK, so when someone is coming at your foot with a needle and says, “You’re going to feel a prick and a sting.”, do not, I repeat, DO NOT assume that it will be like getting a flu shot, because it won’t. Omgggggg that was the most painful shot I have gotten to date, and I’ve had several painful shots. It was like you wanted to pull your foot away but you knew you couldn’t so you closed your eyes, bit down on your lips, make a little noise, and be slightly amused at how you can’t control your leg and foot from shaking. The P.A. told me it would hurt for 10 seconds then go numb. Longest 10 seconds of my life, I swear it! But once it was over, I was numb, even though it didn’t feel that way. I could still feel them touching my toe and moving it, but when he did the procedure, I didn’t even know he’d done it. It was over before I knew it, and she was putting on a Band-Aid and he was telling me how to take care of the hole until it heals. So while I wouldn’t want to do it again, it wasn’t that bad…after the longest 10 seconds of my life that is. Oh needles, why must you be so pointy?
And on that last painful not, I am off lovelies. My foot is starting to feel less numb, and well, I’m so not enjoying the feeling. Also, the cat, who has a foot fetish, especially with my foot, especially with the foot that got the biopsy, is on the hunt for foot, and I want to crawl under my covers and hide from her. I will talk to you all tomorrow. Until then. Take care. Bye for now.
ETA: Guess who just got a call from her doctor letting her know her thyroid is just fine? This girl!!! Woot!!! It’s going to be a very happy birthday for me!

This Is What A Thyroid Biopsy Is Like

So, I lived through my first biopsy. Let me tell you, while it wasn’t that bad, it is definitely something I am not rushing out to have done again any time soon. So, what happened? Ok, so when I showed up for my appointment, I got my vitals read and then placed in this room I had been in before when I got an ultrasound of my throat done about a week before. The table starts off like a chair with a high back, so I sat there waiting. Once the doctor and her assistants came in, she sat down with me and explained everything that would be happening and asked me if I had any questions. With no questions to be had, they laid the chair back into a table and the table tilts you a little so you are slightly upside down so they can get access to your throat. From there they proceeded to set things up, the set-up honestly took longer than the procedure. Once they were all set up, they opened a package and took out a large cotton swab looking thing that had soap on it and they wiped it across my neck. Then they opened another package with another cotton swab looking thing that had a chemical on it that made the skin on my throat sting some. After that, they turned out the lights and used the ultra sound to find the nodule. Once they found it they used a cold spray to numb the area, then using the ultra sound she asked me to swallow and then had me hold still. She poked a needle, that is smaller than a needle used to take blood, into my throat into the nodule and poked it in and out of my throat 4-5 times to get a sample. She had to do that 4 times. On the 3 go the needle bent some due to the calcium in my nodule, I didn’t feel anything when the needle bent, and only knew about it from her telling me afterwards. Also, there is a lot of pressure during the poking. I’m not sure if it was from the needed or the ultra sound wand, but it can feel like someone pressing hard on your throat. As with the needle, the pressure is tolerable too. After everything was done, they wiped my throat, gave me a regular bandage, and an ice pack to hold on my neck for 20 minutes to help me from getting a hiccie bruise. I thankfully didn’t get one. After that I went home.

She said if I experienced pain to just take a Tylenol because other medicines may cause me to bleed, she told me I didn’t really bleed during the procedure. Now speaking of bleeding, to prepare the night before you need to make sure if you take pain killers that aren’t Tylenol that you don’t take them the day before so you don’t have issues with bleeding. Also if you have blood thinners make sure your doctor knows because that could cause bleeding also. So it’s been a few hours and it just looks like I got stung by a few tiny bees. It itches a bit and has a dull pain when I touch it, so I will skip the pain meds and just deal with the itching. It wasn’t that bad, but she told me that sometimes not enough sample is pulled out, and in that case I’d have to do it again when I see her again in 3 months. *sigh* Oh well, at least it’s over with for now. For now I will relax before I have to start stressing out tomorrow over what I am sure is to be my second biospy of the week. Yay me! LOL! Now, if you are brave, here is a video below of what a biospy basically is. It seems that this patient got a numbing shot instead of the numbing spray I got. Either way, you will be numb for the most part. You will feel the initial needle prick, but it’s tolerable, and this is coming from someone who hates needles and has a low tolerance for pain.

So yeah, that’s how a thyroid nodule biospy was for me. Not as bad as I pictured, not completely pain free, but it was tolerable. The only thing I felt was when she would stick the needle in for the initial stick and the pressure. I didn’t feel the in and out poking. So I basically felt about 4-5 needle pricks. Not fun, but you can deal with it, and before you know it, the lights are on, the table is back in the sitting position, and you are on your way out the door with a bandage and an ice pack, ice up at home if they don’t give you an ice pack so you can avoid bruising. So if you have to get one done anytime soon, you will be just fine and you’ll be so glad when you get the negative results. 95% of those tested come out negative, so try not to stress too much over it. And on that note, I will talk to you lovelies later. Until then. Take care. Bye for now.

Tired. So freaking tired.

Image From Free Digital Photos

Quickkkkk update. I wanted to post about male fashions I found interesting and wanted to try making for our highly fashion-neglected 1/6 males, but the day got away from me and now I am just so exhausted, I am ready for sleepy time. But I wanted to make a quick update on me.

So I tried this sample of medicine my doctor gave me and it worked wonderfully, but it only had five pills and I quickly ran out. So I called last Friday for a prescription, but while they did record it, they never wrote it and sent it to the pharmacy. So they got me three more sample boxes that will cover me for 2 weeks and they are getting a prescription done for me. So hopefully tomorrow I will have a call telling me to pick it up. I plan to only be on these pills for 6 months because they can damage your body at a year of taking them. I need to really focus on weight loss, which I plan to do the bribing way again. I still have two vintage dolls waiting for me from the last time I tried to bribe myself. But that is for a massive weight loss, so I want little bribes along the way. I will put my bribe list up here on the blog so you can follow along.

What else? Oh, I learned in a very interesting way that a friend is Republican. Ok, so two things I tend not to talk about is religion and politics. We all have our own thoughts on both, I respect your right to believe what you want and just ask that you respect mine. I guess my friend didn't know where I stood on the political spectrum and she sent me a link to a video that is very insulting towards Democrats. She thought it was hilarious, and I just didn't see it as funny at all. It was creative, but not funny. I was shocked to find myself so insulted really since I try to take a far stance from politics, but I think today I found out a little bit about myself. It was an interesting and awkward moment that I quickly tried to change the mood of by asking what she'd been up to lately. Please, if you ever do talk to me, please let's keep politics and religion out of the convo. There are way to many things to talk about that won't step on toes that we can pick from as a topic. *sigh* I mean I won't be rude to someone if they do bring it up, but I will try to change the topic. It's just safer people, trust me.

On top of that I've learned a friend is having a hard time due to some things that weren't her fault.I feel really bad for her and I can't help her in any other way but be a listening ear. I was slightly shocked and touched that when I mentioned my health stuff coming up she was completely focused on me and trying to figure out how to get a ride to my appointments to be there as support. LOL! She's a sweetheart. I told her let's see how I feel on my birthday and she can come see me then and we can talk about the horrors of being stabbity-stabbed. Must call her back tomorrow to catch up more, had to say good-bye early...Project Runway was on. And omgggg the judges's decision got me really salty. Now I don't know who to root for to win, my choice was kicked. So sad. *sniffle*

And on weird last note I am off. I really want to lay down and maybe *gasp* go to sleep early tonight. Well early for me. We'll see. I'll let you know tomorrow. Until then, take care lovelies. Bye for now.

Becoming Too Lazy

Image From Free Digital Photos

I think with the looming medical procedures next week I am becoming super lazy. I just watch Youtube videos or play my new video games. Not good. So I am going to force myself to get back on track. Right now I am still tinkering with condensing my online stuff so I can become more focused. Youtube is proving to be irritating. You can only subscribe to like 75 channels within a couple of hours and then you are cut off for a couple of hours. Their way of cutting down on spammy people, which is cool, but slows down the process. I should be done with Youtube in a few days. I guess in between waiting for the cool off period to end I could work on Tumblr. I am not sure if I am going to cut back on following people, or just put the ones I really want to watch into a rss reader so I can keep up with them better. I also want to do a blogroll here as well as another place to keep a list of people I am following and share them with you. I also want to make a...forumroll??? Basically a list of forums I am on. I could just have them in my bookmarks, but...do I really need to explain why that's not a good idea right now? No? Thank you. ;-)

So yeah, I just keep telling myself, next week is coming regardless, might as well start working on some things so when the tests all come back as good I won't have wasted this time I could have been using for good. Just wish I wasn't so tired. Not sure if that is because I barely see the sun lately, staying up until 9 or 10 am and then sleeping until 3 or 4 pm, or the thyroid, or just my general health. I mostly see the night, which I had changed before I let a certain someone back in my life, staying up late again to text him. * sigh * I will get it all back on track. As my doctor says, it's all fixable.

And on that note I am off, back to sorting through these many channels I watch. I need to cut back on them. So many people are just so interesting and I want to follow them all, but in the end I miss out on them all because I follow so many people. Time for some people to get the cut. * sigh * Why must I find everything and everyone so interesting? LOL! Talk to you all tomorrow. Take care. Bye for now. :-)

Listen To Your Gut!!!

Image From Free Digital Photos

Ok, so I feel like I am so behind on everything because I can't for the life of me stay organized or get organized or just start to get organized. So I decided that with my new movement in what I wanted to do with my life, blog, etc. that I would need to condense and pull back and become more focused. I thought making several Youtube channels to focus my various ideas on would be a great way to do so, but I also wanted to blog, create, run a shop, write, have a social life, and oh yeah I might want to catch some Zzz's in there somewhere as well. Focusing on several of anything just isn't what I am capable of doing. One channel, sure, the 3-5 I had planned, not so much. And the thing that irritates me is that before I separated all my the channels I sub to into different channels, so I could focus my channels on those topics, I told myself that I should just have one channel and use the collections and playlist options to do my channel. I should have listened to my gut because now I have to change things around. *sigh*  So now I am pulling back to one main channel for it all. Just like this blog I want it to be all about me and my interests, so I am going through the longgggg process of doing so; switching over subs to my one main channel and still thinking about my logo to kind of brand myself.

All this between my extremely sleepiness and trying to get into better health. Sucks. Sucks all around big time, but I am managing...kinda. I need to work harder at it though. Right now though I will work on condensing things, this I can manage in my half asleep mindset right now. Just typing this is mentally exhausting and I really want to go to bed, this is of course after I spent most of the day sleeping. Being unhealthy sucks, but I will change it. I just hope the appointments next week will reveal good news and not bad. Sorry guys, gotta end this for now. Just so tired. If you've left a comment on previous posts, I will comment back very soon. Just super tired to focus on making a good response. I will talk to you all tomorrow, hopefully more awake. Take care until then. Bye for now.

I'm taking off my big girl panties...at least long enough to get a nap.

Image From Free Digital Photos

So I went to my appointment today. I went to bed super early because I was exhausted, and I woke up 2 and a half to 3 hours later and couldn't go back to sleep. So by the time it was time to go to my appointment I was a nervous wreck. Will that stupid box get stuck mid-floors? What would she do to me? Am I going to come home crying? So let me take you out of your torture. No, the extremely small box did not get stuck, but it stressed me out enough that my blood pressure went through the roof, and no amount of explaining to them that I was scared of the appointment, scared of the elevator, and sleep deprived would get them thinking that this was not me having high blood pressure. Oh well. Found the stairs at the end of the appointment. My dad went with me, and he swore there were no stairs even though there was a sign on the wall next to the elevator that said "In Case Of Emergency Use Stairs". And, well, the fact that buildings with multiple layers have stairs, but whatever. Oh well, found them for next time. Next time I say? Oh yes, there will be a next time, in less than two weeks actually. I get to go back and get a biopsy! If you couldn't guess, I went home a little weepy.

She found nodules on my thyroid. One is small that she thinks is fine, but the other had some white around it that she was worried about. She told me 95% of biopsies come back negative for cancer, and even if it was cancer, she says no one dies from thyroid cancer they die with it. Now all this I was trying to let soak in as I tried to settle my stomach, let my brain settle from being partly upside down for a thyroid ultrasound, and realizing she was going to stick a tiny needle into my throat several times in the next week or so. I honestly want to say some expletives right now, I'm so angry and upset, but I will keep this a family show.

So from what I understand from her, she says I don't just have hypothyroidism, I have Hashimoto's thyroiditis, and it's hereditary. And it will greatly affect my ability to have a child and if I don't get my levels right my child could end up with mental retardation. Add to that I am getting ready to turn 36 next month and well, I am angry. I blame myself for this. Yeah she said it's hereditary but what if I caused this to happen. My sister and I are the only ones who have it in the family. We don't know about my dad's side of the family much, so it could be from his side, but what if it was dormant and my weight or my yo-yo dieting caused it to happen? She told me if I lost weight my levels could go down, so that is all that is on my brain right now, losing the weight.

It's so silly, but it's at these moments I miss the old ex, as in the way he used to be in the very beginning. I would be able to confide in him and get his comfort. I foolishly let him back into my life back in April, but I have gone back to no contact because I need to close that chapter on my life. His part in my story is over, but I do wish I had someone like a boyfriend or husband I could talk to about this. It's moments like these that make me so mad at my ex. If he had told me sooner he didn't want to be with me, I could have found someone else and maybe had a family now before I got ill. But I don't want to be that girl, blaming the ex for how my life turned out. While he is far from innocent, I need to take some responsibility for how things turned out as well. I guess I am still in shock and in need of comfort. So I have decided to take my big girl panties off...figuratively of course, crawl into bed, and take a nap. Yeah, I should stay up so I can go to bed early tonight but I really want to rest and allow my brain and stomach to rest and settle. After a good nap I will put my big girl panties back on...still figuratively, and deal with this.

So two days after my throat biopsy I will be going to the dermatologist about a large brown spot on the bottom of my foot. People if you have a large brown spot on the bottom of you foot, no matter what complexion you are, get to a doctor to have it checked out. My doctor thinks it's just hyper-pigmentation but he saw a dot in the center of mine so he just wants to be sure. He doesn't think it's cancer, but just in case. I kind of feel that dermatologist will cut it off, just in case. So I get stabbed with needles on day, and I may be walking about with something that looks like a hickie for a few days, but so won't be healed by my appointment on the 7th to probably have skin punch-cut from the bottom of my foot and then removed. Then my birthday is two days after that, which will probably be around the time I get the results back from both tests. What a fun gift that will surely be. Well if it's all good then yes it will be. If it's bad, well...I don't want to think about that right now.

I need some sleep. Sleep is good. Just a few hours...or days would work too. Nah, I want to watch the new season of Project Runway tonight so I know I won't sleep past 8. Hopefully I'll just sleep until 3ish so I can exercise. This news may have been a sucker punch to the gut, but I refuse to let it take me down. Now that I am home in bed, cooling in front of a fan, I will take some deep breaths and just remain calm. I mean hey, the worst is over...I don't have to go back into that elevator any more. I'm thinking the odds are in my favor. Bye for now guys. Oh, and thanks for letting me vent. I really needed it.

They Better Not Take My Thyroid!

Image From Free Digital Photos

I am tired. I am always tired. Now while I can put some of that on being overweight, working on that, some of it is also put on staying up super late at night, changing back to an early to bed early to rise schedule asap, I also put that on my bum thyroid gland. So when I first learned about my thyroid being slow I was placed on 25mcg Levothyroxine tablets. 3 months later I was placed on 50 mcg tablets. 3 months after that I was placed on 75 mcg tablets. Then I didn't see my doctor for almost half a year, secretary at the clinic told me I didn't need to see her unless I had a problem, well when I demanded to come back...secretary was wrong, I was placed on 88 mcg tablets. We decided to wait another 6 months to see if weight loss or something would change the levels. So then my doctor up and quits and I get assigned a PA. When I go talk to him, my levels had spiked high. I wasn't sure if that was good or bad until he put me on 125 mcg pills and made me a referral to see a specialist. *sigh* I am so worried this woman is going to tell me that I should have my thyroid removed. I don't want that. Pills for the rest of my life, I finally came to terms with, thyroid completely removed...that's just not a comforting thought to me. Nor is the idea of having surgery. So I am nervous.

My appointment is tomorrow. It's upstairs in the clinic I go to, which you can only access from an elevator. I HATE elevators with a passion. Yep, I'll admit it, I hate being in closed up spaces, and though it will be a few seconds worth of torture, I am dreading it and it's adding to the stress over the appointment. But it will be worth it if she can help me feel somewhat normal again. I really want to get my thyroid to a functioning level because I would like to have kids one day and that gland not only plays a big part in me getting pregnant but it also plays a big part in baby formation. So yeah, tomorrow's appointment will be a big one for me. Fingers crossed it will be a positive one. I know there are higher doses of medicine she could put me on, and I am really hoping for that. I also want to ask her if there is anything I can do naturally, like lose weight or maybe take certain vitamins and minerals, to help get that gimpy gland of mine working again. I have read that it's impossible to get a bum thyroid gland working again, but I've also read some people had theirs working again with weight loss. So who knows. Crazier things have happened in life, why not a gland miraculously working again? I'll be sure to ask about that tomorrow. For now, I am just focusing on staying calm and relaxed. If I have time today I will finish up that last needle felting kit I have and then I will start to entertain you all with my first 5 attempts. I promise you, that will be a post worth viewing. :-)

And on that note I am off. I am going to go have a cup of coffee, I'd given it up for a few days but decided it's my one vice so I am taking it back, and then I am going to try to get some things done before an early bedtime. Haven't been sleeping to well lately due to stress over appointments and a rather stupid decision I made back in April, that I finally corrected the day before yesterday. So while things are slowly getting back to normal, my sleep is still lacking. Hopefully an early bedtime will fix all that. I'll let you know tomorrow. Until then, take care my lovelies. Bye for now. :-)

Depression, Cleaning, Saints, And Blah

Every day I think about blogging, and every day I tell myself to put it off just a little longer so I can come back fully with stuff to share and talk about. But I just honestly don’t have that yet. I’ve been in the process of cleaning my room and the room I craft in, and not just cleaning but organizing and purging stuff as well. Well with my bum stomach, something that used to take me no time at all to do can take me hours to days to do now. It sucks, but I am dealing with it. I love that I am finally getting more organized, but the rooms are slowly turning into a Hoarders episode the “cleaner” it gets. I have a vision and a drive to get this done, it’s just overwhelming to see everything in the middle of the room and know I have to go through it all still. Ack! Oh well, it will be worth it in the end.

Add on to this that for some crazy reason I am seriously depressed, and have been for the past year, but it’s really getting nasty as of late. I really feel it has something to do with my thyroid medicine. I either have too much or not enough. My hormones are so out of whack I don’t know who I will be from moment to moment. I’m either perfectly fine or curled up in a ball throwing the most awesome pity party this side of the Atlantic. Woo! I see my doctor, maybe, on September 11th, where I am bound to get a lovely round of blood tests to see what’s going on with me. I feel my dosage will change again, but we will see.

Now if all that wasn’t enough to deal with then I have the “blah” portion of stuff I am dealing with. My house is getting work done on the kitchen and bathrooms so there are stranger guys in and out of the house making the loudest noises. Then they take a few days or week break while orders for stuff come in and then they start it all over again. We are currently on a “break”, but they will be back soon, I’m sure of it. For some reason whenever I leave my room they all like to just stare at me, which is just lovely for a shy gal like me who would just like to cross the hall to the other room without it becoming a moment of interest. Well hey, there’s one good thing at least. The guys are kind of cute, so I guess dealing with them for the time being isn’t all that bad. LOL!

My family members all have been dealing with health issues of late, and that stresses me out, and of course my doctor told me not to worry about them and worry about myself instead. Kind of hard to do when it’s right in front of my face all the time. So this is another reason I am really trying to get back to where I can craft and be creative. It helps calm me and pull me out of reality for a while. But I don’t have the ability right now because of the need to clean, so I have found another way to achieve that moment of peace. Video games.

I just got a new game in the mail today, Saints Row 4, and it really helps me let off some steam. I am also playing Guild Wars 2 again, the Sims 3, and Animal Crossing. It’s just a nice break from the daily stress until I can get back to my true love, crafting. It’s hard to have so much I want to do and try craft-wise and not be able to do it. That adds more frustration on me as well, so for now I take it out on aliens and unsuspecting Sims. Mean? Yep. Fun? Hehehehe.

So I was dealing with all this and thought I had things at a comfortable “I can deal with it.” level, and then another wrench is thrown into the gears. “A” just recently told me he’s been experiencing heart issues for the past few months. It sounds a lot like my mom’s heart issues and to know he may have that at such a young age scares me. He’s going through testing now, and I hope it’s just stress and that he needs to take a vacation to relax, but if it is what my mom has it’s permanent, and that just truly scares me. So all of this just makes me feel like I am carrying the hugest boulder on my shoulders. I never really truly understood that saying until recently. Your shoulders truly feel heavy, and you almost feel like you are in pain because of it. It sucks so much, you have no idea. Well, perhaps you do. I know a lot of you are dealing with nasty stuff in your neck of the woods, and if you are, I am sorry. I wish we could all just have fun enjoying our hobbies and living a happy life, but that is just not how it goes sadly. So with that all said, what’s next?

I’m not sure. I am going to keep at the cleaning, and purging things for the shop I am going to open with my mom, that’s not doll related. We are going to try selling new and used things on Amazon. I will still open my doll shop too very soon. I am still tinkering with articles and plan to use them for promoting my shops and blogs. I hope to promote some of my favorite blogs too, not that any of you need that because all your blogs are awesomely popular already. And well, until I can comfortably get back into my craft area, I will continue to kill aliens and torture Sims. LOL! But once I am back in a my crafty nook I will be sewing, crocheting, creating, oh and finally finishing my photostory I started writing years ago so I can move on to the story I really want to start working on. And well, I guess that’s it, for now. If you have read this far, thank you. I feel I owe you something for reading through all that. Hummm, what can I give you. Oh I know!

Kitties!!! What? Who doesn’t love kitties? Well, maybe someone allergic to them or someone who get attacked by a kitty, but other than that, who doesn’t love kittles? Oh fine then. For those of you who don’t like kitties, this is for you.

Puppies!!! You’re welcome. And on that note I am off again my lovelies. I’ll be back soon, hopefully with awesome news and fun things to share. I hope all of you are doing well and having tons of dollie fun. Take care until next time. Bye for now.

Michelle

All Images Used Under Creative Commons
Girl Playing Video Games Image From Free Digital Photos
Kittens Image By Mathias Erhart on Flickr
Puppies Image By Alejandro C on Flickr

Still Here

Image From Free Digital Photos

I should have known something was going to happen when I say I am almost caught up. I haven't been able to blog or update my blog in the past couple of days. I have felt sick and I don't know what it is exactly. Light-headed, short of breath, exhausted all the time, just sucks. I want to sleep all the time. I will am forcing myself to write my due articles and then I will come back to the blog. I feel just so funky since my dosage change, but it's suppose to make me feel better. Ugh! Well I just wanted to let you all know I have not disappeared, just tired all the time. Hope you are all doing well and I will talk to you soon. :-)

Michelle

Doctor Woes – Part 2

So I usually get some paperwork about my blood test results after I've been to see the doctor. Then if she had to up my dose I would get a random call from Walmart telling me my medicine was ready. I hadn't gotten any paperwork so I was curious if she'd gotten results yet. She got them, because I got the random call from Walmart. I hadn't gotten that call the last time I saw her, but it's been a year since I was last to see her, so it seems things have changed since I was last there. I am not sure if the dose went up or down, but based on how I've been feeling and noticing my eyebrow is getting sparse, my bet is on she upped it. This makes me sad. I've read hypothyroidism can just continue to get worse. I started on 25mcg of my medicine, then went up to 50, then I was stable at 75, and now it seems I may be hitting 100 or higher. I've read about someone who was on 200 and still suffering. Add to that that other health conditions can come due to the hypothyroidism, and well I am just not a happy camper right now. The only bonus is if this dose helps me then I might start losing weight again...might. I'm a little bit sad knowing about the prescription order. I'll find out either today or maybe tomorrow what it is and I'll update you. For now, let's all take a look at this cute kitten.

Trying to cheer up,
Michelle

Image 1 From Free Digital Photos

Image 2 By Moyan Brenn From Flickr

Doctor Woes

Ok, so I will admit it, when it comes to going to the doctor or the dentist, I am a big scaredy-cat. I mean I am so bad I am already training my boyfriend to be prepared to come with me to my appointments and hold my hand. Honestly once I am at the place and the appointment is set into motion, I calm down some because “it's almost over”, but the days and even weeks leading up to the appointment is pure stress for me. Especially since this appointment was literally a year overdue. I canceled my appointment last January and just never made a new one. I knew there would come a time I'd have to go back, and finally it came through that I couldn't get my thyroid medicine if I didn't go back and see my doctor. Ughhhh!!! * rolls on floor moaning in despair * Whyyyyy??? I don't wanna!!! Yeah, that was me when I learned I had no choice but to go.

So today was the day finally. I was in and out in roughly an hour and a half, and my doctor is behind me on the gluten-free diet, that I am still on, and suggested some other ways for weight loss. She really feels, like I do, the weight is causing the stress, anxiety, depression, and ill feelings I have. So potentially a lot of this can be reversed. Sadly, not the hypothyroidism, but the other stuff like the hernia I am 99.99% sure I have. I wish the thyroid thing would go away. I know I will always have that illness, but I've read that your thyroid can start working again, but it could always “malfunction” again too so you have to be checked every six months just in case. This of course stresses me out some due to thyroid problems leading to other issues that could potentially affect my life in negative ways. But the new mantra I am taking on is this year is “I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.”, it's been working good so far.

She also told me I need to stop worrying about other people and focus on myself. So much stuff has been going on over the past year alone and while I wish I could help everyone, I realize now I need to just focus on myself. I can't help everyone, sadly, but I can help myself. So that is what this year is going to be about. The year of the Mouse. LOL!

So yeah, I go back to see her in March, I believe on my parent's anniversary actually. She wants to see if the things she is having me do is helping any. I hope they will be working by then. One cool thing, I was 7 pounds less than the last time I was there. Granted it doesn't make me happy because I am back to the weight I always get stuck at, but its cool to know I weighed less than I did last time because hopping on the scale that day stressed me out to no end. But this time I just told myself, “Hey I know my weight is up, they know my weight is up, so why stress over it.”, and would you know this was the first time they checked my blood pressure in the stats room and it was normal. LOL! Usually it is high in the stats room and then is normal once I see the doctor. So hey, progress. :-D Let's hope I keep the “good times” coming. Fingers crossed tight.

Happy to have one major bridge crossed for the year,
Michelle

Image From Free Digital Photos

Happy Thanksgiving

To all my United States of America followers, I hope you all had a very happy and safe Thanksgiving. Mine was ok, nothing eventful. Good food with my family. It was an odd one as well with certain things just throwing off the balance of things, but for the most part it was good. Woke up and watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, some wonderful talent in the parade this year. And then I just mostly worked on articles that won't be of any use really for 365 days, and helped with dinner.

So I wanted to take a moment to say openly what I am thankful for this year. I'm very thankful that I got to have another year with my family. Earlier this year it didn't look like we may have another Thanksgiving together with my mom's health, but we did. Now I start my hoping for another year together. I never did fully update about my mom. So it seems she had two mini strokes one right after the other, one on each side of her head. On top of that none of the medicine they gave her to calm her heart down worked, so she got a pacemaker too. Since then, her heart hasn't calmed down much, and her pacemaker had to give her a slight shock once, she was not to fond of that. She's been bruising and having headaches lately, which she worries is a side effect to one of the medicines keeping her alive. I hope not, because on tv every other commercial is one of those commercials talking about becoming part of a lawsuit to sue for wrongful death due to the very same medicine she is taking. Her doctor swears she is fine. We are still working on getting her healthy, but its hard around the holidays to break her of old habits. But we won't give up.

I'm thankful I made it to another Thanksgiving. My stomach has been giving me more issues, one bad episode a few weeks ago made me 100% sure I would be dying that night. Well, I made it through and I'm fine...ish...fine-ish. My stomach still gives me issues, but I am not giving up on getting healthy either. I'm forcing myself to return back to things I love like dolls and blogging, and just trying to ignore the tummy pain and discomfort. What doesn't kill us only make us stronger, right?

I'm thankful for all I have right now. Of course we all strive to have more, but I am very thankful for what I have. It may not be much, in United States terms, but it's more than I really should have. So I refuse to complain about what I'm missing in life, because I have the basics of food, water, shelter, and clothes on my back, I truly have all I need right there and have no room to complain.

I'm thankful for all of you who read my blog. I know the past couple of years have barely had any updates due to me not feeling good, but I truly do thank all of you for sticking around. In the next year I plan to do more updating as I relearn how to have fun in the hobby again. Ugh, and I still owe some people some things as well, I'm so behind on things, but I will get there. I'm also thankful for doll people in general. From you I have learned so much and have been so entertained for the last 13 years since my return to the hobby. Please continue to be awesome and continue to teach me more about the plastic little things that we so happily let take over our lives.

And lastly, I'm thankful for this life. I may feel depressed about certain things going on with me, but this life given to me was a precious gift and I'm thankful for it. I can and will make it better again, and will continue to appreciate it with each day I am given.

I feel I have forgotten a lot, but in the end, whatever I've forgotten, I am thankful for. I hope all of you are well, and if you go out tonight or tomorrow to shop for some super deals, please please please be safe. Unfortunately we all know we will hear about someone being seriously hurt tomorrow, but I hope no one loses their lives. Just be cautious and courteous. Nothing is worth knocking a few dollars off an item. You will get another deal again, just let it go if it means someone might get hurt or worse. Ok? Ok.

Alright, big hugs and kisses to you all and I will talk to you in the next post. Bye for now. And again, Happy Thanksgiving!!! Bye for now.

Feeling sleepy from eating turkey,
Michelle

Image Source

Still Catching Up

I'm still reading blogs, and being entertained by all you have been up to. I took a few hour break to play some Guild Wars 2. Anyone else playing that? Let me know. Today was an ok day. Still not 100% after last night's attack but feeling better, so that is something. I had planned on introducing my new doll that I plan to use kind of as a mascot, but I just wasn't feeling up to do her head swap, so I decided to just take a mystery picture with my phone and tinker with it so you just make out something but not the full effect. It wasn't the bright before, I just wanted to leave you questioning for a bit. ;-) I'll hopefully get her swapped tomorrow or this weekend and show you her in her Halloween costume. She is wearing it in the picture, but umm yeah. Once agian, better late than never, right? And now I am going to focus on my mid grade novel for the next 2 hours because Nanowrimo starts at midnight. If you are doing Nanowrimo look me up and friend me on the Nano site. I'm mouse1996 on there. Hope you all had a fun and safe Halloween. Talk to you either tomorrow or this weekend. Bye for now.

Reading to start writing,
Michelle

Happy Halloween!!!

Happy Halloween everyone! I hope all off you are having a spooktacular time today. First let me say if you have been affected or know someone who has been affected by Sandy, you are in my thoughts. Please stay safe. I'm in so much shock the upper east coast got his so hard. It's usually Florida up to roughly Virginia that gets hit, so it was surprising we didn't get hit hard. I know it seems weird, but I kind of wish it was us that get hit instead because we are so used to it, perhaps it wouldn't have been so damaging. Like I said, seems weird for me to say that, but I hope it's also understandable.


So, where have I been? I've been writing articles while also dealing with my health issues. I really hate being in the place that I'm at. It takes away from my life so much. I had my worse panic attack today and was so sure I was going to die, so it just irritates me how bad my health is right now. So tonight I am going to spend some time relaxing and trying to catch up on some doll blogs. I haven't been able to read any in a couple of months, so I am picking one or two and catching up to help me relax. If there's one thing I know that can get my mind off things its the words of my lovely doll peeps. And on that note I'm off. Please be safe today if you plan on going out for trick-or-treating or Halloween parties. And if you plan on staying home today, that's great too, I hope you have something fun planned. And I will talk to you lovely people later. Bye for now.


Off to escape into the world of dolls,
Michelle


Image of Doll Eating Pumpkin (By Craiglea) From Flickr

Happy Birthday To Me

So, the day is almost over for me, but I had to quickly pop on a say hi. Today is my birthday and I am exhausted from taking care of my new present.  Go here if you are curious what it is.  I am so ready for bed now.

In other news, I will be updating you all on some stuff tomorrow, since I am way to tired to do it now. But I wanted to wait to update on my mom until now. So it seems she had two mild strokes on both sides of her brain. Her eye sight seems to be the only thing messed up, so we are lucky and blessed.  She has a pacemaker now as well. She’s not very happy about that, but it will help wake up her heart when it gets to slow.

I really will update more tomorrow. I just wanted to pop on and give you a brief update and say hi. Miss blogging so much, and I will be back to it real soon. For now, take care, be good, and loves ya!

Chelle

She has to get a pacemaker.

I’m scared and forcing myself into numb mode to make it through. I know some of you have commented on my last post and I had planned to comment on them today, but please forgive me for pushing it off a few days. Thank you so much for the comments, I just am to numb to form a coherent response to them. Please, any prayers or good vibes you have please send them my mom’s way. I don’t know how I will make it through the next few days but I have to. Be back in a day or so to update. Please keep us in your prayers. Thank you.

Michelle

Don't Call Them Dolls!

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So recently Anderson Cooper had a couple on his show who have a big obsession, with dolls.  Not just any random doll either. With Cabbage Patch dolls.  Now while I've never owned a Cabbage Patch doll myself except for two miniature ones and a knock off one I had as a child, I had the chance to buy one once a few years back from Walmart that had my birth date, and that alone almost had me shelling out the big bucks for a doll.  It was 60 dollars at the time for this doll that I honestly can't recall what she or he looked like. I just was a sucker for finally finding one with my birth date. Sadly they stayed on the shelf because I just couldn't bring myself to spend that much on the doll. 80 dollars on a tiny resin doll, sure, but 60 on a big poly filled doll, now way. Priorities people.


But back to Cooper's show, this couple really loves their dol...kids. They don't say the "d" word. The Cabbage Patch dolls are their kids or their babies. And no, this didn't come about because they couldn't have kids of their own, they have a grown daughter. It just started from curiosity and just expanded from there.  This couple was recently on a show on TLC showing their extreme collection. I have to see if I can watch it somewhere. I have to see how extreme this is. I do find it extreme that the couple lives in a tiny mobile home while their "kids" live in a climate controlled house roughly 6 times the size of their house. Now that's love and dedication for you there.  You have to hear some of the interview Cooper had with the couple, their daughter, and Kevin...their "son".


I don't know how I feel about how far the couple has gone with their collection. I mean I think it's amazing what they have collected, but they still have yet to build a house for themselves. The "kids" came first. You would think they would think about themselves first. I guess its the weird order of the priorities that gets me. I promise you I'd build myself a house first before building a big house for my hobby. But hey, to each his own. They seem genuinely happy, so more power to them.


And that's all I have to share with you today my lovelies.  Not doing much else dollwise right now because I am focusing on my health right now. I can't jump back into the hobby like I want until I am better, so please bare with me and the lack of posts.  They will return more frequently later on this year. For now a girl has got to be selfish and think about herself. :-) So yeah, talk to you awesome peeps again soon. Be good until then. Bye for now.  :-)


Exhausted from doing 20 miles on her bike (say what?),
Michelle

Still here.

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Hello my lovely doll lads and lassies, it's been a while.  I apologize for not updating here as much lately. I've either not been feeling well enough to do so, have had nothing to really write about, or have had other stressing issues like today. My mom had a "small" surgery, but she's been having issues with her heart and there was a worry that putting her under could make her have a heart attack, stroke, or even die. I think we all had that secret worry that we just refused to share until she mentioned it when she got home a couple of hours ago. I'm glad it's all over and hopefully we will learn something about what's going on with her. Keep her in your thoughts and prayers for me, will you.  Thanks in advance.

So as for me and the hobby, I'm still very much in it.  I just got a Jake Liv Boy the other day because I heard rumors the line was being discontinued, still have slight and hopeful doubt on that, and I needed at least one more boy to round out my characters for the story I want to work on AFTER I finish my initial story I started. I need to get started on that, but I don't have the space I had before with lack of the table I had. Still looking for a table or something and everything I find doesn't work. Thinking of going industrial and getting a folding table from Lowes or Home Depot. We'll see. I'm tired of the hunt and just want a flat surface to work on.

But I guess that's about it on what I've been up to. Just spending a lot of time not feeling well and very tired and exhausted. Been working on exercising and blogging on my weight loss Tumblr for motivation. I did start a doll and craft Tumblr to collect inspiration from. You can check it out here if you'd life. Follow me on there, especially if you are a doll blog. No, not switching to Tumblr, just really needed to blog about something and Tumblr is easy and barely needs any brain muscle to blog if you are in a lazy state of mind, which I have been lately. :-) 


And on that note I shall let you lovelies go.  I'll be back. Just need to get over this hurdle of a slump I'm in.  Hello to all my new followers! Thank you for your interest in my crazy world of dolls. I will have more to share with you all very soon, promise. Until then you guys and gals take care and I'll talk to you all really soon.  Be good until then. Bye for now.

Feeling sleepy again,
Michelle

I’ve Just Completed My 33rd Trip Around The Sun

Hey all, long time no post.  I have been around, just been busy with life.  So if you can’t tell today is my birthday.  The big and yet odd 33.  If you know me well, I have a thing with 33 after the hour.  It seems it’s always 33 after the hour when I look at the clock now, thanks to my friend Sarah, who is having a jewelry sale in her shop Eleven33 Designs that you should defiantly check out.    But yeah, 33 has been my number for a couple of years and then I noticed whenever I looked up it was 3:33 either a.m. or p.m., very weird.  So I kind of feel positive about this year being a good one for me.  I feel my plans will start coming to.  So excited.  And it all starts today. 

So just some quick things about my plans.  Of course I want to lose weight, which I am restarting my lifestyle change tomorrow thanks to a friend’s suggestions on what I should do.  He’s going to hold me accountable for my diet and exercise.  So that will hopefully help.  Other things are my writing and *sigh* yes my shop.  I haven’t been able to get into my craft room to sort it all out, but I am feeling positive that I will be getting things sorted out this week and weekend so I can start putting stuff in it no later than Monday.  I plan to put one item in the shop today if I can find pictures for some of my items.  But I won’t be promoting much until next week.  As for writing, working on the second month of Camp Nanowrimo so I can finish my novel.  I want to try to finish it by the 15th because Write On Con starts on the 15th and it’s a full couple of days of chats and workshops.  If you are interested in the writing convention, it’s completely online and free to attend.  You just have to sign up.  So those are my plans so far.  Getting my writing done, getting my shop up, and getting in better health.  Oh speaking of my health…

I got a letter in the mail today.  I didn’t mention this before, but I had to get a CT scan and I got it last Thursday.  My results came in today.  Besides a slightly deviated septum (towards the left if anyone is interested) my brain and sinuses are perfectly fine.  It' was so cute, on my results there was a smiley face with the word “normal” written next to it.    I was so happy to know my brain was ok.  With some really bad headaches due to wisdom teeth, some weird illness I got a couple of years back that made me feel like my brain was bursting out of my skull, and then the headaches now I just felt so worried something was wrong.  But I’m fine!!!  *does a happy dance*  Thank everything I am fine!

So that leaves me happy today.  I was going to have a friend come over, but he just texted me and told me worked called him in. No worries, I kind of wanted to hunker down and play video games tonight.  I barely do and I figured I’d “treat” myself today.  I was going to finally see the last Harry Potter with my sister today but only the evening shows are left now so we will try for tomorrow afternoon.  So I guess I’ll go blow out the candles on my gluten-free cupcakes, that are so super yummy might I add, and then have my steak dinner later on tonight.  I’m not one for steak but I asked for it about a month ago for today and so I am getting it, yum.   

Oh also, I still have my “time capsule” I reclosed last year, thanks again to John’s awesome idea of making one.  I will be opening mine later on tonight and seeing what the me of last year had to say.  I’ll update it and reclose it until next year, I’m already excited for the me of next year to open it. 

Speaking of opening, I have to wait a while to open my birthday presents because Junky Spot doesn’t have the eyes I want any more and I emailed about them and was told more have been ordered but they don’t think they have shipped yet.  I can wait.  I mean I think one’s birthday should be celebrated all month long, so what’s a couple of weeks.  Heck even if I don’t get it until the last day of the month I’ll still be happy. 

And well, that’s about it ladies and gents.  I’m feeling good.  I’m feeling happy.  And I’m looking forward to the next 365 days.  Happy Birthday and Happy New Year to me!   

And I’m off to start my next trip around the sun folks.  I will post again soon.  I have to introduce you guys and gals to Eli.  Who’s Eli?  Oh you’ll find out soon enough.    Until then be good kids and I will talk to you all soon.  Bye for now. 

Loves ya ,
Mouse