Sunday, October 26, 2014

Changing, Growing, Moving On, I Don't Know

Image From Free Digital Photos
Hey all, how have you been? I know I've promised a couple posts to you, and they are still coming, just I've been doing a lot of thinking, organizing, and changing and I just didn't want to post anything until I really knew what I wanted to do. I am still sorting it all out in my head, but I do have some ideas in mind, and I want to get them down so I don't forget a potentially good idea.

So ever since "the breakup", I have been realizing that my life was so hitched up on one person and I totally forgot who I was and wanted to be. I don't feel ashamed of that, especially since I see a lot of people do that in life, but I am frustrated by it because it took me off my own path in life and now I am suffering to find my way back. I keep "walking" by other people's paths, and I tend to pause and wonder if that's a path I should go down or if that is my actual path in life, but then I see that's not my path and keep pushing forward.

In going forward, I realize that the doll hobby is where I want to stay, at least for now, and I want to expand on it by becoming a toy creator at some point. Actually I have a small list of things I want to do in life. I want to become a writer, but since most writers can't live off their writing income, I want to also continue with my interest in dolls and toys. So a writing toy creator? LOL! At some point in life I'd also like to create some apps, but that would be more of a hobby that I'll see if I can make money off of. I would like to look more into creating toys, perhaps focusing on making 3D print out patterns for toys that owners of 3D printers can buy and printout. However, much like all new technology, it'll be awhile before 3D printers become a common household item, so I will also focus on getting dolls and toys made the conventional, or old-fashioned, way.

I'm sure I will have to go back to school to make some of this happen, and I am trying to decide what school, when I should go, what curriculum I will need to take, and really what direction I want to go in. I would prefer learning on my own and not having to go back to school honestly, and I am sure that is possible, so I will look into that as well. I just would rather learn things in my own time frame rather than spread across four years, taking a lot of classes I won't really need.

However, as I return to the hobby and try to learn the wants of hobbyists, I sadly see a lot of the older hobbyists leaving the hobby for new hobbies, preferring to enjoy the hobby in private, or putting their hobby away because of life changes. It's super sad to see so many blogs, Youtube channels, and forums become ghost towns because people have changed, grown into a new direction, and moved on to something new. Granted that's also a good thing, we should always continue to grow and change in life so I wish good luck to those people, but it makes a long-time hobbyist, like myself, feel a little lonely. Don't get me wrong, I know this encourages me to make new hobby friends while trying to reconnect with those older hobbyists still hanging around, but it still is sad to see some of the greats say their farewells, or worse yet, just fade off into the distance without so much as a wave good-bye.

So in figuring this out, it makes me wonder, how do I keep up with the constantly changing "target market" I'd like to eventually sell and talk too? I know, everyone trying to sell items have to deal with this, along with other issues in their industry, like the bullying in the doll hobby scaring off people from the hobby, so I guess I will just have to think of how to stay current.

In the past year alone I've already found my interests in the hobby changing yet again. *sigh* So I was all into 1/6th when I got into the hobby, then I got interested in bjds while still greatly loving 1/6th. Then I found myself switching over to 1/6th completely for some reason. I liked the dolls, but I think I also saw them as more acceptable of a hobby to "the ex" because they weren't "toys", they were collector's items, and he could accept that more. However I still had all my 1/6th stuff collecting dust, getting old and brittle, turning yellow with age. Now I am finding that while I do like bjds, I prefer them tiny. The tallest I would probably really like is an MSD and even they are a bit big for me. I like the fashion doll size bjds, and if I ever follow through on my plans to make my own bjds one day, they will be fashion doll size. I just like their size, I like how clothing for them tends to be super easy to find as well as shoes sometimes, and I just love things in mini form. So it finally hit me, I just love 1/6th and smaller scale items. So I finally decided to return to my roots and enjoy 1/6th again. Yay!!!

But in returning to 1/6th and starting to organize my life online and off, I realize that a lot of people I follow no longer are of my interest. So I am sadly unfollowing a lot of people so I can actually interact with people with the same smaller scale mindset. It sucks so much to change what you find interesting, because you have to let go of certain things in order to enjoy it, at least that is what I am finding. But I am glad to finally have some direction in life now. It's one step on the long way back. I think I finally found my path, and though I've only gone a little ways up it, I think it's going to lead me where I need to be headed. I'll never let anyone or anything stray me from it again. I don't mind if someone's path goes parallel to mine, just a long as they don't ask me to ditch mine and jump onto their path, because their is no fun in that, trust me. Always be true to yourself my lovelies, and always be the captain of your own ship, your life will turn out so much better that way. I look at it this way, you and someone else can be going on your individual paths and you can still hold hands, talk, bond etc., without giving up yours. Yes, it took me a long time to learn this, and no, I will never forget it.

So, what's next? Well I still have those posts to share with you about my mom's dolls, a doll I am trying to customize, and some 1/6th projects I have been working on for years and never finished. I have a Youtube channel in the works for doll related stuff, and of course I need to update this blog, my Tumblr, just a lot of updating. Oh...and there is still the issue of the Christmas presents I am suppose to be working on. I am going to try to do that while doing Nanowrimo next month. :-D What? I work better under pressure anyway. *insert uneasy laugh here*

And can I take a moment to tell you all a boneheaded thing about myself. So I am on a laptop, and I accidentally made my screen zoom out. When that happened before, I would freak out not knowing how to fix it until I learned about "ctrl+ or ctrl-" will adjust the screen, then I came across the instructions for a previous old laptop that explained that if you take your fingers and push them away or towards each other on the touchpad it will adjust the screen again. You have no idea how shocked, excited, and dumb I felt when I tried this for the first time. *sigh + eye roll* Well hey, we need to keep on learning, and I accept that as lesson learned. I no longer freak out when it happens, and it makes me feel super techy when I do it. So there's that. LOL! Just had to share that with you all.

And on that note I will let you all go for now. I must return to organizing and sorting. I want to have it done by November 1st. I still have a lot to do. My Tumblr alone is going to kill me. thousands of posts that need to be tagged, sorted, some deleted, and so much more. I almost want to kill it and start over, but I don't want to lose my followers there, much like the reason I won't delete this blog because it's got posts of "the ex" in it, I don't want to lose you guys. So I shall push forward, clean it up as best I can, and keep on keeping on. Things will get better, and I'll feel like myself once I am organized and ready to jump back into the hobby. Just wish I hadn't let it go in the first place. Oh well, could've, should've, would've, but didn't. Suck it up and move on. ;-) I'll be back with another post soon lovelies. Until then, take care, bye for now. :-)