I don't know what I am doing, but I am here.

    Hey there. Long time no see. Well, like the title says, I don't know what I am doing, but I am here. So I've been wanting to come back and blog for literally years now, I've got the drafts to prove it, but for some reason I just could never do it. It seems so many people I used to follow in the blogging world have either moved on from blogging to other social media sites, have changed to Tumblr as their main blog which I am not the biggest fan of reading, or just faded away back into life. There is truly a huge hole in my blog loving heart that misses everyone, but I know times change, people change, interests change, and so goes the world. Even I have changed my focus as well. Usually I would just start a new blog when that happened, but I've decided to dust off this one and invite anyone who is interested to join me on whatever journey I may take here. So it is the first day of my birth month and I am hoping for this month to be one of peace and clarity. So trigger warning, the next part of this paragraph is going to be about the death of a loved one, if you would rather not read that, please skip to the next paragraph. So July was probably one of the hardest months for me. My mom had a stroke, and the doctors felt she wouldn't get better, so they sent her to hospice. In hospice it looked like she was getting better and may graduate from hospice and go to rehab. However that wasn't the case. She was great one day then took a turn the next. We were all still hopeful, but hours after she took a turn she was gone. Such a big presence in my life just gone like the wind. It was and still is something hard for me to come to grips with. We buried her on the 30th of July, then on the 31st I had to go to an appointment that was suppose to be a joint appointment with my mom, and they asked if she was still my emergency contact and I had to tell them she passed and changed my emergency contact to my husband. I know ultimately I should have my husband as my emergency contact, but I felt it would be easier to contact my mom in an emergency and she'd been my contact for decades so I just got lazy and didn't change it. Now over the coming months I will have to slowly change all that. One of the things I've dreaded most in life is the death of my mom, and it has happened and I'm kind of lost right now. I know life has to continue. I know I have to keep moving forward. There were plans that were being put into motion at the exact time she had her stroke. My sister was going to move in with me and my husband. My husband took vacation so we could help her move in. Instead of moving my sis in during his vacation we spent the week seeing my mom and hoping she'd get better to setting up her funeral. Also, now instead of my sis moving in with us, we are moving in with her and my dad. Literally in the blink of an eye my life has changed and for the next couple of months I will be trying to figure out where I go from here. So that was my July. I truly hope all of you reading this had a much better July. I truly mean that from the bottom of my soul. If you didn't, and even worse, if you experienced a similar situation as mine, I am so truly sorry and I encourage you to join me in focusing on making August a refresher and a time of bringing back that special spark into life. We've got this!

  So now we have a fresh new month. I want to look at each month with new eyes. I want to try to see the potential of each month and what awesome things it can bring me. This month will be a mixture of highs and lows, but I want to try to take advantage of every day as best I can. I want to return to hobbies that I have pushed pause on for so long. I want to explore some new hobbies that I tend to learn for the benefit of older hobbies. For example I learned crochet because I wanted to make crochet dolls and toys and be able to crochet clothes for my dolls. I also want to try knitting again. I think I need to refresh myself with crochet first and then attempt knitting.

    I have always loved that with crochet all you ever deal with is one loop. Knitting is a bit overwhelming because of all the loops you have to deal with and they need to be going the right way and etc., but I will attempt it again and soon. So for right now I want to focus on the MANY crochet kits I have bought over the years and create the items from them. I think my first one will be a donut amigurumi kit I bought from Dollar Tree, the little guy you see here. I am going to attempt to use the supplies that come with the kit, though everything seems really flimsy, but I want to know if its possible. Fingers crossed. 

    I'm also attempting to get back into diamond painting. I keep buying diamond paintings that I would love to see all done, but I haven't been actively working on them. I am trying to put a pause on buying, which has been working for the most part but I had a chance to get a deal on some recently so I snagged them, but for the most part I want to work on what I have. I'm ALMOST embarrassed to say I have a plastic tub of diamond paintings I have to do. I say almost because I kind of felt like I wasn't really "in" the hobby because I only owned like three of them at one time. Now that count is probably over 100 and they are all ones I want to do, I just need to sit down and get to work. I was re-inspired to do them back around mother's day to make two for my mom and mom-in-law for Christmas. I thought get them early and work on them for Christmas. I got two of them and needed to finish one more for my mom, and I was like should I give them early. I wish I had now. But because of certain events, it caused me to pause on diamond painting. I still have those and several other that I have to seal and looking at them causes me some guilt. I had no idea what would unfold, so I am trying to push through and past the guilt and try to find a way to enjoy diamond painting again.

    I returned to one that was up on "the slab" for a while now. It honestly should have been a quick one to whip up because it has a TON of color blocking, but depression is a bitch and lumped onto everything else, it just sat there. Yesterday I decided to sit down with it again and it took a while for me to get a flow but now I am excited to finish it again. Its a painting I was so excited to buy and couldn't wait to see it all put together. I am still excited for that.

    I also have some coasters I am working on as well. I won't be actually using them as coasters because the sealant I use is water-based and I kind of want to keep all my diamond paintings in one place that I can pull them out and look at from time to time. I have an under the bed storage thingie that I put them in currently. Its made of fabric, I'd like to get a plastic one some day maybe, but I feel the fabric one allows them to breathe and not get sweaty so maybe I will just kept them in that one laying flat. Yeah, I'll probably do that instead honestly. That is my current diamond painting journey right now. I will do a post soon showing off all the ones I have done so far and maybe talk about about my process, explain what "the slab" is, and talk about future diamond painting plans. 

    Now, a lot of you probably came to my blog once upon a time for dolls. Well I'm happy to tell you the dolls are still here. I have continued to follow dolls I love and every now and again I've bought some dolls to tinker with. I am trying to decide where I want to take my doll hobby. I used to be into photostories, but I think that time has passed for me. I'm not 100% sure but I honestly do think it has passed for me. I still have all the props and whatnot and I will probably be putting those up for sale for other doll hobbyist to enjoy. Keep following this space to find out if or when I do it. I know some stuff has to go, and I will just keep what I truly love. I also have a TON of stuff to unbox that I was going to do for a doll and toy unboxing Youtube channel years ago. Life hit me hard and it never really took off because of that. I still have the stuff I wanted to unbox and still want unbox the items. They are older items so people may not be interested in seeing unboxings of these items, but that is ok. I mostly want to do it for my enjoyment, and I welcome anyone who wants to come join the fun with me. I'm also trying to decide what dolls I want to collect. I realize that I would prefer more of a focus on dolls rather than having a wide variety of dolls in my collection. I'm leaning very heavily towards Blythe dolls, Asian bjds, custom made dolls, and even making my own 3d printed dolls. I will still pick up dolls from other lines that speak to me from time to time, but I really want to focus more on who I get. I feel it makes it easier to dress and share items among dolls, and it allows me to get into a community focused on those dolls. Its hard to find communities that cover a variety of dolls nowadays. I could be wrong, and I am going to do some research and start making lists of communities I find. When I get a decent list going I will share it here for you all to enjoy and use. I am really excited to jump back into the doll world. I have truly missed you guys and your dolls so much. 

    So what else do I have planned for this space? I'd like to share more of me in general. Maybe some recipes I've tried or love to cook. Maybe some news I'm excited about. Maybe keep you up to date on my current attempt to 100% Stardew Valley, yes that is currently in the works. My thoughts on books I've read or movies I've seen. Or maybe I simply want to share a sunset with you all to help you end your day on a high note. I've got so many plans, I've got a sticker business I've started with my sister I want to share with you as well as a business I will be starting that will be a sister business to the one I've started with my sister. Just so much I want to do and share and I'm excited for it. I would love to have you all here along the ride with me. Be sure to bookmark the blog and follow along with me and whatever chaos will come. 

    Thank you for reading my return to blogging post. This was literally a long time coming. I still have so much to update you guys on. Like it just hit me, that last time I posted here I was single, and I mentioned my husband earlier in the post. Yeah, I'm a Mrs. now! We got married on Halloween in 2019. We had a church wedding in jail. What?!? I know, that doesn't make sense. Damn, I should have brought this all up in the next post. This one is a long one already. I hate being that person, but yeah, I will update you on that in the next post. Promise! Until the next post, I want to thank you all again for reading. If you are a returning reader, welcome back! If you are a new reader, welcome to my world! It feels good to be back. I leave you all with a beautiful fluffy cloudy sky to calm your day. I will see you all next time. Until then, as always, I hope you all have a magical, wonderful, splendiferous day! Bye guys!!!