Friday, April 8, 2011

Hamster Wheel

*Warning, there are a few curse words ahead, but nothing overly bad.*

Hey guys and dolls, how are you?  I'm hoping you are all doing well.  I just wanted to pop on here and let you guys knows that I won't be posting for a while.  Just typing that makes me roll my eyes, but I like bloggers to tell their readers when they are leaving for a while not that the readers wait for them to come back and they never do.  I fully intend on coming back to you guys, just not sure when.  Things have just been going on in my life that have made me depressed which in turn makes me not have much to say and makes me shy away from social interaction.  Issues with me, issues with my family, issues with life just have put a lot of strain on me and I’m just worn out truly.  And I feel so guilty just leaving this blog sitting here and not doing anything with it.  Not doing anything I’ve been wanting to do for years.  I’m just not happy with how things are going right now with anything and trying to force it isn’t helping me to come up with anything better or new or mildly entertaining, it’s just crap and an embarrassment when I look at other awesome blogs that I could be like if I just tried a little harder and put some effort into it.

So instead of just posting crap up that just well plainly looks like crap I’m going to just take a pause, gather myself and thoughts, and then come back refreshed and renewed when I am ready.  Once again I’m not really sure when that will be.  Please feel free to still be a follower or friend of my blog, but I understand if you decide not to.  This isn’t forever.  It’s just for now while I try to get my head on straight and try to get my health in better shape.  While the new medicine for my thyroid condition is helping, I am still having scary issues and I can’t drop any weight no matter how much exercise I do and no matter if I starve myself, eat properly, or overeat.  Nothing makes it budge, and while I do know that thyroid issues can cause problems with weight loss I just don’t want to “blame” the illness for this lack of weight loss and maybe I am screwing myself by doing that.  But I place the blame on me.  I feel I am not working hard enough to lose weight so I can be healthy again.  Then add on to this that my whole family is unhealthy and their unhealthy ways are in some ways affecting my health well yeah, it’s like I’m on a hamster wheel.  I’m working my little ass off but I’m getting nowhere.  So I’m ready to get off the damn wheel and get back to life, sadly already in progress without me. Sad smile

But I can do it.  I know I can.  I just need to take some stressors off of me right now in order to do it.  So while I love my blog and love writing in it, I am going to let it go for now.  I know not many people read my little blog here, but to those of you who do I thank you, thank you, thank you for reading and leaving all your kind words in the comments.  Thank you for supporting me in my hobby and for being a friend.  I hope that we can continue on with the fun times when I return.  Like I said, I’m not really sure when that will be, but I do hope at least by my birthday in August.

Well, I guess that’s about it guys and dolls.  Thanks for reading this far if you did, and thanks to those of you who understand why I’m doing this.  I’ll be ok.  I’ll be better than ok.  I’ll be awesome once this medicine starts to work more and I start to finally lose weight.  But until then I feel like everything I do is less the what I know I can do.  So I will just stop before it turns into a royal train wreck.  I will talk to you all soon.  If you need to reach me, feel free to click the email me button on the side and drop me a line.  Peeps on LJ just come on over to my Blogger blog if you want to see the button…I never put one up on LJ which I will do when I get back.  Promise.

Well I’m off everyone.  It’s hard for me to say good bye.  Blogging was a nice creative outlet for me, but I really think the break is best.  I’ll still be checking in on your blogs and commenting when I can.  You can’t get rid of me that easily. Winking smile 

Love you guys.  Be back soon.  Be good until then. Bye-bye for now.

Loves ya,


  1. :(
    Well, I hope things get better, and so you know, I will miss you.

  2. Aww, hun. *hugs* I totally understand where you're coming from. When you are going through rough times, even things you enjoy, like blogging, can be stressful, and you don't need that. Just know we'll all miss you and are rooting for you! Take care of yourself first!


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