Saturday, August 2, 2014

One Week, Bad Day?

Hey guys, so today is kind up and down for me. I am going through some hormonal stuff again, which I hate with a passion. I wish they would level out so I cold have more normal human days than not. It got so bad I foolishly unblocked someone to say hi out of emotion. Regretted it no sooner I sent the text. The convo was basic and nothing exciting. I was reminded of what an @$$ he is and I am back to having my fill of all that. Like I said, it was done in a hormonal moment and I am soooo not proud of it. I believe they will get the block again in a few. I feel stupid.

Found some more interesting fashions that I would love to not only draw but make for dolls of various sizes. I especially love the v-neck shirt. Now that is a lowwwww neckline, but it's so cool. As I look at all these fashions, I wonder how that would translate into 1/6th scale. I'm sure the v-neck and cowls could be worked out depending on the fabric they are made out of. Well when it comes to 1/6th it all really comes down to what the fabric is made out of really.

So next week I complete another run around the sun. Fun, right? Meh, guess so. Ok, I am glad I am having another birthday. I know of many who won't get this chance, and so I respect the fact that I do get that option. It's just with each birthday I get a little sad because I feel like I haven't accomplished anything due to getting sick and having anxiety, and also I reflect on the fact that I am way older than my older brother now. I was catching up on Eastenders and the brother of twins was saying good-bye to his twin sister at her funeral. He mentioned how she was almost 8 minutes older than him and she never let him forget it. However, he was now older than her for the first time ever and it didn't feel right. That's how I feel about my brother. It's not right that I am older. Just realized, even my younger sister is older than him now. It just feels wrong. I loved being the middle child, but that status was ripped from me and I would give anything to have it back. I miss my brother.

So maybe it's best not to blog when you are all weepy, but I worry if I don't do it then I will disappear
for months again and I am really trying to get back into the things I love. So fake it until you make it i guess. Next week is going to be a horror. I hope, at least,  I have a good birthday, even if it's just me laying in bed marathoning the last 2 seasons of Doctor Who, the new one starts soon. Yay!

And on that geeky note, I will talk to all you lovely people tomorrow. Until then, take care. Bye for now.

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