Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Jan. 5, 1977-Oct. 12, 1999

Looking at those dates makes me think of my brother’s gravestone.  He actually has two gravestones.  The first one when they made it they messed up on the date and had him listed as passing on the 21st instead of the 12th.  At first my mom didn’t want to bother mentioning it, but I told her this is his last personal belonging it should say the right date.  So she told them and in no time he had the proper gravestone.  Over the years the stone has faded from exposure to the elements but you can still see clearly the saying we came up with to put on it.  “Beloved son and brother.”  And is just what he was and still and forever will be.

My boyfriend and I were talking this morning before he went off to work and I mentioned how it was today that he passed away.  I asked him if he could believe it was 11 years ago.  He was shocked and mentioned how time just flies.  Honestly it still feels like it was yesterday.  I dearly wish that things didn’t feel like yesterday for us.  I mean I still feel like that shy girl from high school.  Sometimes I feel like I am forever 18.  Maybe that’s because that was a fun time in life for me.  I was out of high school and I had a lot more freedom just to be me.  My brother and I constantly had our friends over or we’d go out to hang with them and it was just a good time.  I think back fondly on those days and wish dearly that they were still here.

But when my mom came to check on me, because she hadn’t seen me all morning, I told her how I felt uncomfortable today and sad and she said don’t be sad and that he wouldn’t want me to be sad.  That if he saw me being sad he’d come in and say “Hey Butternose!”  LOL!  He used to call me that and “Granny”.  LOL!  Butternose came from “Fraggle Rock”.  I believe the king giant called his queen Butternose.  Granny I can’t remember where it came from but he always called me that.  Then my mom mentioned some other things that was a very memorable thing that he liked or did and it made me feel a lot better.  We’ve come a long way where we can talk about him and not be sad but be so happy he choose us as family and so happy to have known him for the short time we had him in our lives.

So in honor of my brother Larry I’d like to make a top 15…it was 10 but I thought about 5 too many… list of things he loved.  :-)  Here we go in no certain order.



He loved wrestling.  He wanted to become a wrestler so bad.  I remember how him and another friend would go out into the front yard and wrestle each other.  They both wanted to be wrestlers and they thought they were so good.  Granted they didn’t know what they were doing, but it was always entertaining to watch them try.  LOL!



He LOVED spaghetti.  He’d pack his plate full with a big mound and go off and eat then when he was done he’d come back for a second plate.  LOVED spaghetti.  LOL!  We were always shocked by the amount he could put away.  I wasn’t a fan of it, I wasn’t much of a fan of anything back when I was a kid, but he loved it so much.


Video Games

He had a dream of creating a video game museum.  He had every system out there.  He would constantly be playing games and beating them.  I remember one thing that always makes me giggle.  We had a game based on “The Little Mermaid” and I beat the game and I believe my sister beat the game too, but my brother hadn’t and he couldn’t let us beat the game and him not.  So he played the game until he beat it.  He eventually did but it was so funny how he couldn’t stop playing it until he beat it and got a little irritated when he’d mess up.  I guess he figured he couldn’t let his little sisters beat him.  LOL!   We still have all his gaming systems and games.  Not sure what we will do with them.  I guess keep them and use them.  We’ve got some old school systems here too so it will be fun to look back to when games were “good”.  ;-)


Heavy Metal Music

Now my brother loved all kinds of music, but the music I could recall him listening to the most was heavy metal.  I think this went along with his love of wrestling.  The intro songs tended to be heavy metal.  I often remember that you could hear him coming down the street before he got home.  You’d hear this loud heavy metal music and then all of it sudden it would cut off suddenly then a minute later he’d walk through the front door.  It’s funny now to think about it.  I didn’t really like his choice in music, I was a pop girl myself, but now I’m glad he did like that because I can remember it so vividly now.  I don’t know if I would have remembered it so well if he’d played all the stuff I liked.


Pretty Blondes

My brother loved the ladies.  But he loved the blonde ladies a little more.  LOL!  One of the earliest blondes I can remember hearing of that he liked was Jessica in his 1st grade class.  His teacher told our mom that he had a crush on her and when my mom asked him about he said in a dreamy voice “She’s pretty.”  LOL!  Now one of his celeb crushes that was more recent was Melissa Joan Heart and Sarah Michelle Gellar.

But with Sarah Michelle Gellar I am kind of cheating because he liked her back during her “Swans Crossing” time before other soaps and before Buffy when she was a dark auburn.  So hummm, can I really include her now?  Meh, my list my rules.  ;-)


His Car

I don’t even remember the color of his car.  I want to say it was a dark grey color but it could have been red for all I know.  I do know he had a Steve Austin tag on the front of it, it had these rain protectors on the window that made me feel claustrophobic, and the car was a damn lemon.  But when he passed I wanted to keep it so much because it was his car, but it was very problematic so it was traded in for another vehicle that we could use without problems down the line.  He was proud of his car.  His first big responsibility.  :-)  Now this car pictured isn’t what his car looked like I just picked out a car I thought he would like to own now.  I could see him behind the wheel of this.  :-)


His Blue Sheet

Now this one is kind of an inside family joke.  My brother and I both had these blue sheets when we were kids.  He became attached to his and would take it everywhere.  Mine just kind of hung out in my closet…where it actually still is right now.  LOL!  His got tattered and torn but he still kept it.  We still have it and my mom has asked that we place it in her coffin when she passes away many many many many many years from now.


Dino’s Pizza

My brother loved Dino’s Pizza for many reasons.  For one reason, he worked there.  He loved his job and the people he worked with and for.  But he also love Dino’s for the perks.  He got to have meals that were cancelled and I believe he either got free food or seriously discounted food.  Two of the things he’d bring home from Dino’s were their overly greasy pizzas and breadsticks.  Yes they were so far from healthy, but damn they were good.  LOL!


Jalapeno Peppers

This was a new development with him.  He would love to get a jalapeno pepper or two and would just chow down into one and eat it straight up!  OMG!!!  I would sit there in disgust, shock, and awe as I watched him eat it like the sucker was chocolate.  Umm…wow.  It was surely a sight to see.



My brother loved animals.  He loved to play with the many animals that have come through our zoo.  I remember how he’d pretend that he was going to eat my guinea pig Baby.  She was this fat plump hairy thing, and he would grab her little plump leg and act like he was chowing down.  LOL!  He loved playing with her and all our pets.  I know he’d love the animals we have now. He never got to meet a single one of them.  He would have loved playing with them all.  :-)



My brother loved watching movies at home or in theater.  I went with him several times to the movies and we had a good time.  Two movies I remember were one of the Batman movies and one of the Rush Hour movies.  We had fun watching them together.  One movie I remember not so fondly was Romeo and Juliet.  We went with my friend and boyfriend at the time and somehow someone got in a fight so he left, then my boyfriend left, and by that time my friend and I had missed so much of the movie that we left too.  Thank goodness it was free due to my friend working at the movies and I believe we went back just her and me to see it at another time.  I don’t remember why the two boys got mad, but it was actually funny later because it was over something silly.  Teens, what I can say, we were dramatic back then.


The Holidays

My brother loved all the holidays, but he loved Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas the most.  Oh and his birthday, but I suppose that’s a personal holiday and didn’t it rock for him to have it right after Christmas.  He had Halloween in October, Thanksgiving in November, Christmas in December, and his birthday in January.  But you want to hear something cool?  He wasn’t the only one who lucked out that way.  My mom was lucky like that too.  They share the exact same birthday.  It’s actually kind of weird the amount of people I met that had a birthday on January 5th. My mom, brother, a little girl that lived next door to us years ago, and one of my best friends.  Weird huh?  Well one of the holidays that my brother really liked was Halloween, I think it ran a close second to Christmas, and so we like to do something to celebrate it each year.  Not sure what we will do this year.  I have an idea, but I doubt it will happen.  Meh, something will come to me.  :-)


Jingle Bell Rock

My brother had this love for the song “Jingle Bell Rock” when he was a kid and he kept that love for the song throughout his life.  To this day I still smile and sing along when I hear it.  And um, do you like the image I found for this?  It’s jingle bells…on a rock….with a mouse.  Omg, what’s not to love about this?  LOL!  I would so love to own this.  So cute and perfect for me.  Oddly enough it’s a part of the “Charming Tails” collection that fell in love with a long time ago.  I wanted to buy every single piece they came out with.  I wonder if it’s still possible to buy this one piece?  It’s truly so prefect for me.



Every summer since he was a kid my brother became and honorary truck driver.  He’d go out on the road with my dad during the summer.  Oh I hated that.  Not only did I want to go and couldn’t due to me being a girl and it being mostly a man’s world out there on the road and no place for young girl, but I would also be alone during the summer.  It was just me and my mom until my sister was born then it was me, my mom, and my sister.  But still she was a baby so I still didn’t have anyone to play with.  :-(  So when the end of the summer came I was glad because my play partner was back but it would be time to go back to school so that defeated the purpose.  But I’m glad he got to go out on the road.  He got to see so many things and experience life some.


His Family

Though we drove him crazy sometimes I know he loved us dearly.  He worried about us and he’d go out of his way to help us in any way he could.  Him and I were very close and I felt less alone growing up because no matter what he was there to lean on.  When he passed I felt a big chunk was missing in me, still do at times, and I suddenly became the “oldest” and well that status has never sat well with me and never will.  I still want to be the middle child.  It’s funny I hated being the middle child when I was younger but now I want nothing more to be the middle child again.  I suppose I still am but to the world I’m not.  But the important people know the real story and that’s all that matter.  Yes my lovely readers you are among the important ones.  :-)

So there you have it.  My brother’s top 15.  There is so much more I could have said about him, but this post would go on much longer than it already has so I will close on this next note.  I know it sounds cliché, but honestly everyone, hug your family and friends.  Let them know you love them.  Let them know they are so important to you because you never know when you have to say good bye way before you are ready.  Sure I know we are never ready to truly say good bye, but when a person is sick or old it’s a tiny bit easier to handle their passing knowing they lived a nice long life or they were sick and now they no longer hurt.  Of course it will still hurt that they are gone but it’s a little easier to accept than suddenly finding out someone you cared about is suddenly gone and they were kids or in their 20s, 30s, 40s, etc.  So just make sure that they know you love them and would be lost without them.  I hope my brother knows that I love him and miss him dearly and since his passing I make sure to tell my family I love them every night before bed no matter what.  Even if we are angry at each other, I want them to know that I love them now and when the anger passes as well.  So do it people. Do it now.  Send a text, give them a call, go give them a hug, give them a kiss, and say you love them today and every day from now on.  Ok?  Ok.

Thanks to whoever made it this far.  For you I have a special picture to bring a big smile to your face.  Proceed for your gift.

Awesome right?  Smiling right?  Sweet.  :-)  You’re welcome.  ;-)  Ok I’m going to close now so I can get to work on the big post for today.  Yes, I have not worked on it yet because I am still trying to figure out how to word it so it’s informative but not boring.  Expect that post soon.  Be good until then.  :-)

Loves ya,


  1. You are so sweet and brave to share all of this, Chelle. Thanks for letting us get to know him a little, too.

    I'm so sorry that you lost someone you were so close to. It's really cool that you guys had such a close relationship,-- so many siblings are like oil & water, and just never get to experience that at all. I am so glad that you've gotten to a point where you can smile when you think about how awesome he was. I laughed when you talked about the wrestling in the yard thing-- it reminded me of my brother, lol. Boys are weird.

    Hugs, babe, and I'm thinking of you. Take care of yourself.


  2. Thanks C. Big hugs back. I glad you enjoyed reading about him. I just think he was so awesome and he should be shared with the world. I must agree, boys are so weird, but yet entertaining. :-) So owe you an email. One is coming soon. :-)


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